Have you ever noticed how many of us women hit our 40s with this mix of wisdom, life experience, and strength… yet still feel like we’re holding back? On paper, we’ve done so much—raising families, building careers, supporting communities—but when it comes to going after our next big dream, there’s often this quiet hesitation.

It’s not because we’re not capable. It’s because of something I like to call the confidence gap.

You know that little voice in your head—the one that constantly criticizes you, pushes you to be perfect, or convinces you to avoid difficult conversations? That’s your inner saboteur, and it might be running your life more than you think.

We all have mental habits that keep us stuck. They show up as self-doubt, overthinking, people-pleasing, or perfectionism—convincing us that if we just work harder, do more, or stay quiet, we’ll finally feel enough. But that’s a trap. These patterns aren’t protecting us; they’re keeping us small.

The good news? Once you recognize these saboteurs, you can start loosening their grip. Let’s dive into four of the most common ones: