Dream Big, Love Deep: How to Balance Your Ambitions with a Thriving Relationship

Hey, beautiful soul! If you’re a woman over forty with a fire in your heart for big dreams—whether it’s launching a business, writing a book, or finally stepping into your true calling—you’ve probably felt the tug-of-war between chasing those goals and nurturing the relationships that matter most. Maybe you’ve wondered, Can I really go after my soul mission without sacrificing the love and connection in my marriage or family? I’m here to tell you: absolutely, you can. As a transformation life coach, I’ve walked this path myself and guided countless women to do the same, blending ambition with a sizzling, soul-deep relationship. Let’s talk about how you can make it happen.

My Story: Balancing the Fire Within and the Love Beside Me

A few years ago, I was homeschooling four kids still living at home, pouring my heart into their education while chasing a big dream of my own: training for a triathlon. I wanted to tackle this challenge, but with a busy household, it felt like a stretch. To make it work, I got up at 6 a.m. five days a week to train from 6 to 8, so I could be back home to wake the boys and start our school day. Those early mornings were my time to fuel my ambition, but I noticed my husband and I were starting to feel a bit disconnected amid the chaos of parenting and my training schedule. I didn’t want my dream to pull us apart, so I invited him into it. I encouraged him to get a bike, and we started taking long rides together through the country side, sometimes ending at our favorite winery or brewery for a well-earned toast. Those rides became our sanctuary—moments to laugh, talk, and reconnect. Within a year, he caught the triathlon bug too. He’d always been a runner, but training for a triathlon together took our marriage to the next level. Sharing this goal didn’t just light me up; it deepened our bond in ways I never imagined. It wasn’t always easy, but it showed me that dreams and relationships can amplify each other.

Step 1: Ground Your Ambitions with Somatic Wisdom

Your body is your soul’s compass—it knows when you’re aligned with your dreams and when you’re pushing too hard at the expense of your relationships. Somatic work is about tuning into that wisdom. When you’re chasing a big goal, it’s easy to get stuck in your head, obsessing over to-do lists or outcomes.  This can leave you disconnected from your  self, partner or family, who might feel like they’re competing with your ambition. It is so important to be intentional about your relationship with your husband, children and friends.

Try this: Take five minutes each morning to check in with your body. Sit quietly, place a hand on your heart, and take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself, “What does my body need to feel grounded as I pursue my dreams today, How can I connect with the people I love today and be more present?” Maybe it’s a quick stretch to release tension or a moment to visualize your goal without losing sight of the love in your life. Maybe it is visualizing a success towards your goal, or meditation to keep the stress at bay so you can show up for your family as your best self. This practice helps you stay present, so you can show up fully for both your ambitions and your relationships. One client of mine, Sarah, used this to balance her new coaching business with her marriage. By grounding herself daily, she found she could tackle her work with focus and still have energy to connect with her husband over dinner. This daily practice helped her deal with the stress of a new business in a productive was so it didn’t effect her relationship.

Step 2:  Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: 

Imposter syndrome can be a relentless inner critic, whispering doubts that undermine even the most determined efforts. For me, this manifested while homeschooling four kids, juggling lesson plans, and managing a bustling household. There were moments when I doubted I could pull it off. The inner voices were deafening—telling me I was too old, too out of shape, and far too busy to take on something as daunting as training for a triathlon. The fear of what others might think, of failing publicly, nearly stopped me in my tracks. But training for that triathlon became a powerful lesson: it was as much about conquering my mind as it was about building physical strength. Each step forward—every early morning run, every exhausting swim—silenced those doubts a little more, proving that the only limits were the ones I placed on myself. Addressing these doubts and replacing all the negative thoughts with upgraded positive ones, was the first step to success. If you believe you will succeed, you are more likely to take the actions necessary for success. So with every big dream, job promotion or new experience, Imposter Syndrome shows up.  Don’t let it keep you playing small and playing it safe.  Life is too short for that. The only dreams we regret are the ones we let slip by. 

Step 3: Build a Bridge with Gottman-Inspired Communication

A sizzling marriage thrives on connection, and that starts with open, loving communication. John Gottman’s research shows that small, intentional moments of connection—like responding to your partner’s “bids” for attention—can make or break a relationship. When you’re chasing big dreams, it’s easy to miss these bids. Maybe your partner asks about your day, but you’re distracted by your next goal. Over time, this can create distance. The good news? You can bridge that gap with simple, heart-centered communication.

Try this: Share your dreams with your partner in a way that invites them in. Set aside 10 minutes to talk about your big goal—whether it’s a career shift or a personal passion project. Start by saying, “I’m so excited about this dream, and I want us to feel connected through it. Can I share what it means to me?” Then, listen to their thoughts and feelings. One of my clients, Lisa, did this when she started writing a book. She shared her vision with her husband, who initially felt left out. By using Gottman’s “turn toward” principle—acknowledging her husband’s need for reassurance—Lisa kept their connection strong while still pursuing her passion. These conversations build a partnership where your dreams and your love amplify each other.   

Bringing It All Together

You don’t have to choose between your big dreams and a thriving relationship—they can fuel each other. By grounding yourself with somatic practices, facing your Imposter Syndrome head on, and communicating with Gottman inspired intention, you create a life where ambition and love dance together beautifully. I’ve seen it in my own life and in the lives of the women I coach: when you pursue your soul mission with presence and connection, your relationships don’t just survive—they sizzle.

So, gorgeous, what’s one dream you’re ready to chase without sacrificing the love in your life? Take a moment to reflect: What’s one small step you can take today to balance both? Maybe it’s a somatic check-in, a journal session or a heart-to-heart with your partner. If you’re ready to dive deeper, join my community or check out my Marriage Reset course, where we explore these tools to help you live your soul mission while keeping your relationships vibrant and connected.

I’d love to hear from you! Drop a comment below or send me a message to share your dream and how you’re keeping love at the center. Let’s create a life where you can dream big and love deep.